a string of thoughts

my thoughts string together

as if they were coherent

unlikely

given they are born of worry

as i think about you

i get caught up in the details

ruminating on what was said

and unsaid

i wish there was a way

to transform what i mean

into what i say

i’m at a loss for words

it’s a never-ending string

endlessly tangled

by my overthinking

and indecision

my critical thinking

pulls on the string

leaving it

more looped and knotted

than a forgotten necklace

i just want to string together

a couple of thoughts

that don’t leave me

yearning for a fantasy

or belligerently delusional

this string of thoughts

suspended in my mind

arrests my progress

of moving towards

what is clear and true

black and white

my mind is flooded

with grey

i can’t stand grey

fuck grey

what if there is no truth?

what if life is mostly grey?

to whom shall we pray?

i don’t know

if i’ll ever get the answers

i wanted

today.