growing older

when i turned 25,

i wondered

how old i really was.

age didn’t seem to

concern me

but aging and changing

values, boundaries, goals

left an imprint on my mind.

the quarter-life crisis

is maybe realizing that

you no longer tolerate

what you did before,

and that the past

is not simply

a string of events

but patterns and choices

based on circumstances.

i’ve always heard

“what advice would you give

to your younger self?”

but does that help

your current state?

i crave wisdom

but unfortunately

you must live to learn.

what i didn’t do,

what i did,

and the dreams i abandoned

burn their images into my memory.

all i can do now

is not to follow

the trope of “being myself”

but to cultivate the process

of knowing myself

and how to show up

in my best interest.