open door

the door was open

but instead of fresh air

the fabric of my reality

began to tear

bleak, bleak, bleak, then black

i didn’t want it to

but the open door

took me back

a loss of freedom

a loss of control

a little digging into my psyche

and then suddenly, i’m in a hole

this ugly, hideous thing

so cruel in what it would bring

was never meant for you to bear

so to protect you, i just left you there

feeling imminent danger

i part with a smile and grin

i knew you as a stranger

so i held it in

my worst memories buried deep

became resurfaced memories

i had to keep

to excavate

to understand

the why of how it all began

please don’t hang it

over my head

i wanted to listen

but i said what i said

i ask for no sympathy

maybe just a little grace

you did nothing wrong

it was just time and place